This site is passionately dedicated to you, Fox Gloves. You have a dumb, dumb name.
Let this also be a warning to you -- stupidity gravitates towards stupidity. You have a dumb name, thus you are all the more likely to do dumb things. Below are some examples of others with the name "Fox Gloves" that we've seen in action. What makes your name just so stupid? Let us count the ways: Fox was actually Adolf Hitler's birth name. Statistically, boys with the name Fox have a 73% greater chance of getting beat up at school by other boys. Gloves sounds the same as the Mandarin Chinese for the phrase "garbage monkey". Fox rhymes with "scrox", which just sounds stupid. Fox is difficult to spell phonetically. In many offices in the U.S. and Great Britain, "gloves" is slang for "pointless" or "waste of time". "I have a gloves report to write." (Alternatively: "How was the meeting, you ask? Let's just say it was catered by gloves.") Fox is an expletive among many rednecks. I.E., "That's a load of fox." Bozo the Clown, in choosing his name, almost opted for Fox Gloves the Clown, but wisely chose something less offensive. The medical procedure known as a glovesectomy is a type of lobotomy. Sign language for "Fox Gloves" is the extended middle finger, the hand rotating at the wrist while pointing at the head. The body piercing known simply as a "Fox" involves drill bits and a soldering iron. There are no Mensa members with the name Fox Gloves. I mean, obviously. Fox Gloves sounds remarkably close to the Farsi for "plays with excrement." In the last 50 years, there have been more bankruptcies filed under the name Fox Gloves than have been filed by all Amway members. The boy on the playground that told me about the birds and the bees was named Fox Gloves. And man, he was WAY off. Ask most bartenders for a "Fox Gloves", and they'll tell you they're not "that" kind of bar. Directors who want to remain anonymous after creating a terrible film are credited simply as Mr./Mrs. Gloves. Every member of the 1980s band The Fox Glovess has been arrested -- on separate occasions -- for assaulting an elderly person. Michael Moore credits a certain Fox Gloves for his/her fashion and grooming advice.
The Big Tobacco executive who first thought of targeting children for future cigarette sales was named Gloves Fox. No, not exactly your name, but pretty close. This is our intervention, Fox. You can legally get your name changed, and, frankly, we hope you do. Not just for yourself, but for the betterment of humanity. Your friends have dumb names, too. Generate the link here: First name: Last name: Link: |